As you can see from the title of our next case, I love oxymorons. Come to think of it, I wonder if the ‘moron’ suffix to that word has anything to do with the word! I must check that up sometime. Sorry, can’t do everything for you!
Ok. So now, on to the next case — that pleasing insult. After reading the previous one, I imagine you think you already have a good idea where this is going? Weill you are about to find out if you are right.
By the way, I bet you must be asking yourself right now if I have a magnet that attracts insults to me or vice versa… Well the answer is No. No, I don’t. Even though I have had my fair share of them in my relatively short life. But then again, who hasn’t.
So how did this one come about? Yes. You guessed it! Another close friend. Some gals do have them!
This occurred in campus days when I was footloose and fancy free. We became friends when we shared the same room on campus right through the four or five years of study. Different courses but real bonding took place and we became close confidants. They were really nice times. And one thing we shared in common was the love of reading and that was when we started sharing novels we read as well as our impressions, likes and dislikes. Settling in the same city after graduation, it was pretty easy for us to remain close friends.
And we mostly continued our practice of sharing books. When I read a book I enjoyed, I would get her to read it and vice versa. And our assessment of them was often the same. We gradually got to know each other’s siblings while partying together. Hanging out together also provided the opportunity to share lots of gists … confidences, and quite honestly much more of rumours and gossips.
But please don’t misunderstand me. We also argued a whole lot. I think that was actually part of the joy we derived from being friends. Some might describe it as honing each other’s argumentative skills. Perhaps this is the time to mention that I enjoyed needling her because I considered her a rather domineering person. What this means is that sometimes I was on the opposite side simply because I did not like the emphatic way she tried to impose her views on people. As you can imagine, this led to frequent and heated word-punching of the same type I have already regaled you with in previous editions. However, as already indicated, we seemed to derive some pleasure from it and it made no dent in our friendship.
Did I tell you she had a way with words? Once she said to me: ‘Your problem is that you thrive on arguments!
A pretty classy way to put it, wouldn’t you say? Even if it takes me back to my previous reflections on my dear friends that have the tendency to rapidly qualify me with adjectives that I think best suits them! I mean, it does take two to tango! And if your relationship with me has pitted us both against each other so frequently, it is only fair to factor yourself into the equation before throwing out accusations!
Well, eventually, two types of divide occurred, and I was the cause of both. Yes. I plead guilty.
The first was geographical because I relocated for a long time from our shared city. During this physical divide, my life’s path also shifted to the Narrow Way. This was the second divide, well did I know that it would not be well received and things would not be as smooth sailing as before. What to do?
Well, short of taking cover and hiding forever from my friends to avoid introducing my new me, I decided to take the bull by the horns. The change in my life was radical, and I figured I the earlier I got it over and done with, the better. After all, I had to come out of the biblical ‘closet’ someday. Trouble was that I really can not recall having done enough of the recommended supplication in the closet as recommended by my now Lord and Master in all things, before stepping out of it.
But I went ahead anyway, choosing to reveal the new me proudly and boldly as if that would persuade her to at least check out my new beliefs. But as you can imagine, it was not well received.
Guys, I have since learnt the importance of the ‘closet wait’, and now practice it regularly and would strongly recommend it to you.
But back to the topic. There’s more. Not only was I no longer interested in the previous things we used to enjoy together, but I was no longer reading the same types of books. Nevertheless, I felt it my duty to attempt to share my new interests, after all, if we once had that in common, who knows if we won’t find yet another common ground?
Well, I thought wrong. I seemed to be speaking a different language and communication was tense… and she had many on her side this time. And I was struggling not to ‘thrive’ anymore on arguments, especially heated ones like I used to have with her.
So, yes. I encouraged myself in the Lord and stepped out boldly, but perhaps not wisely. To put it succinctly, I was fool enough to launch out before a plural audience.
I do not recall being really shocked at the hostile, mocking response I received. We all do realize that in spite of the fact that Change is one constant in human life, we tend to resist it. Well this resistance was vehement.
After a lot of back and forth over months and was it even years, with each one of us doing our best to avoid a total rift, my once close friend sounded quite pleased with herself the day she said to me in what seemed to be her Eureka moment: Actually you have not changed all. You still thrive on arguments! Only you have now become militant for Christ!
Well, I did say she had a way with words, didn’t I?
Meanwhile, my reaction to what she said? Surprise initially, followed almost immediately by pure delight. What! I thought to myself. Praise from the mouth of babes! Or shall we say, acknowledgment from the mouth of the resistant! Or compliment form the mouth of the reluctant. Was I pleased! Even if I was not quite convinced I deserved such an honour, I pray earnestly that the declaration becomes a true part of my identity. Yes! If I have to be militant for anything, I pray and hope it is for Christ, the Son of God, my Saviour, Redeemer, Deliverer, Sanctifier, Baptizer, Healer, King, and so much more! who is the only one to deserve such honour and commitment in this world and the next. .
But before I sign out, this is another proof that I generally do not have no inclination to cast the first stone even if I do think about doing so. So what does that make me? A coward? It is true that I would chicken out of any contentious situation as often and/or as long as I can…
Or perhaps I am just a ‘gentlewoman’, as in being ‘a gentleman’? I really can’t say. But one thing I can assure you of is that I really do hate confrontations. And just in case you find that hard to believe judging from what you have read so far, do please hear me out.
Its just that when I am provoked… and mind you, I am not saying I am not the type that is easily provoked, I generally am always ready to meet confrontations headlong. And once I wade in, I do so with purpose, and hang on like a dog with a particularly juicy bone.
Nothing to be proud of, I guess. But it’s often great fun to see a domineering person get frustrated for losing one victim. I have often found that this is when the real colour of a bully shows through then in how far they would go to vent their frustration. And I am usually unmoved by comments of bullies. I am usually too busy contemplating their frustration and congratulating myself for successfully deflecting their verbal blows and heating up their self control motors.
Let me reiterate here that I am not proud of it, for the Good Book clearly says we should not allow ourselves to be provoked. Which means that I should seek to put my reaction to annoying things under my control too.
I am of course prayerfully working seriously on it. And the good news is that my record for self control is I believe increasing with age, while my stamina to hang on to the ‘juicy bone’ is diminishing.
Thank God for His Grace, Grace, Infinite Grace, flowing to you and me.
I would strongly suggest that we all meet at that Old Rugged Cross to do some recce…?
For now, I am moving on to the next case.
SEE YOU THERE!