Stanza 1
When did it all start?
I really cannot tell
Yes, I remember church attendance from at least the age of 6 or 7
But what I mostly recall was the early morning crying…
When my mum would insert those gold earrings in the hole in my ears
No Sunday morning went by that I did not cry…
And lose the ring in one ear by the time I get back home!
I guess that at least suggests I must have had fun in church
But I still wonder today why I cannot remember anything about that regular Sunday attendance.
I try and try, but strange….
Yes, maybe I learned the stories of David and Goliath, and Daniel in the lions’ den and Joshua fit the battle of Jericho from the songs we were taught.
But the key word is maybe… I don’t really know when, where and how I learnt most of those stories and songs
But one thing is for sure… they stuck
No doubt I learnt about Jesus during Christmas season
I know and love many Christmas carols, you see
But what really mattered to me then was the fun time during school-year end holidays,
Which always come with new dresses, and hopefully a new pair of shoes;
And certainly chin-chin preparation,
Which is naturally accompanied by all the kneading, pressing, cutting, frying, and best of all, tasting!
It was also the time that rice and chicken, strictly a Sunday lunch staple, tends to stretch over a much longer period,
Whether in the form of jollof, or with stew separate, accompanied by sweet drinks like home-made ginger beer
By all intents and purposes, it was clearly not wasted time
Because here I am today, Lover of my soul, completely in love with You.
Stanza 2
But I do remember clearly that day at 6 or 7
No, not in church or any such thing.
Just seeking some leaves of the hibiscus plant in our courtyard
Hoping to find some of its leaves to ‘cook’ ewedu
Yes, child’s play of course, and literally too
But you, God the Creator, came down and crouched beside me,
As I wondered at that little drop of dew balanced right at the tip of that tiny light green leaf
The only leaf left on the hibiscus plant, I still see it today
But well known and well cared for…
And you whispered to me: If I can care for this little leaf on this plant you stripped on its leaves,
Do I not know, you, ShalI I not care for you?
To think that Emmanuel was with me, little and ignorant as I was
Playing pretend without a care in the world
Yes, so I was not in church when I first fell flat on my little face
And acknowledged you on that unforgettable day
As the God the Creator of Heaven and earth, and Lover of my soul
Stanza 3
And you continued against all odds to reveal yourself to me
No wonder they call you the Self-Existent God who reveals Himself!
Condescending to answer my foolish, selfish prayers about finding the second half of that pair of light blue shoes!
And that other time, contrary to the accolades that others were pouring on me over my supposed academic prowess,
Engraving it in my heart that You made my admission to that particular secondary school possible, and not I
No doubt to keep me humble… and my, did I learn that the hard way!
When a couple of months later, my expected elevated position in exams, went down to very low in the ladder of performance!
I can’t explain how I never forgot that incident either
No doubt because you do work in mysterious ways to perform your wonders
No wonder I’m still prone at your feet, lost in love.
Nor do I ever want to get up from that position of adoration
Lover of my soul, Emmanuel, God with me forever more
Stanza 4
Ah, then again, I must have learnt a lot of those Christian choruses that often resound in my mind till today in Secondary School
There was that unforgettable ‘senior’, God bless her
Zealously gathered us new entrants to teach us the way of the Lord.
It was great while it lasted, I can confirm
Until I became ‘acclimatized’ with the environment and made new friends!
Then I no longer gave the Scripture Union a second thought!
That must have been the true beginning of the straying away
And in spite of this I have no doubt whatsoever in my mind that you were always there
Merciful Emmanuel, God with me.
I lie prone in worship before your throne even today,
Forever yours, o Lover of my soul!
Stanza 5
Escaping church attendance was difficult in Boarding house
So I dutifully attended, playing the ‘stone ball’ soccer with others as we walked indifferently in a line to church on Sunday…
Yes I confess I did enjoy being part of the group that were ‘confirmed’ and all the ceremony that surrounded it.
Why, I even recall a certain spiritual, or was it emotional response at that time
But the new white dress which was a must,
My mum, or was it my sister did a good job at it…
And the pictures I have to show for it,
Did no good in retaining the spark… so I settled for religion…
But polite, righteous and gentle as you are, your wrath did not fall on me
Rather you kept a close watch on me
Lover of my soul, the same yesterday, today and forever
Stanza 6
Campus life soon caught up with me
I stepped away boldy and speedily
I tried everything, questioned everything and did everything I wanted.
I soon became my own little ‘god’,
Consciously rejecting Christianity as my religion, and boldly replacing it with ‘Principlus’, a word I made up myself to make myself feel good about my compromised values!
And as is always the case, my sins did catch up with me!
And stuck to me close as two peas in a pod,
Even when I wanted no more of them!
The downward spiral is unending…
But you were right there all the time, patiently waiting for me to come to my senses,
Ready to catch me when I reach rock bottom
How I love you Lord Jesus, my Master and my Friend
The Peak and Core of all my relationships
Stanza 7
After all is said and done, here I am at the number of perfection
Loving your more than ever before,
Content with being your slave,
Enjoying the blessed assurance that You alone can give
And wanting more of you each day that passes..
Although you call me your sibling, friend and child
Take my life, my Saviour, Redeemer and Deliverer, it is thine own
Make my heart your Royal Throne
Thine forever God of Love
Fill my heart and my spirit, soul and body with songs of love
For evermore, O Lover of my soul!
