Quite simple really. I knew and loved Jesus for many years from reading the Bible over and over
again after I was delivered from smoking just by praying in His name many years back. I loved His great wisdom when He asked the Pharisees to show Him the picture on the coin and ended by declaring ‘Give unto Caesar what is Caesar, and to God, what is God’s. What wisdom, what courage. You just can’t trap this guy. He’s too smart to be had!
Then there was His great self-control towards such injustice (even then what struck me most was that the prostitute’s male counterpart was not dragged forward as well). Such injustice and
meanness towards one defenseless, socially-disadvantaged woman. I would have let them have a
piece of my mind! But Jesus was in control and merely let them have a ‘Peace’ of his mind!):
“He who is without sin, let him cast the first stone.” And none of the accusers, schemers, could
stand the heat – just because of a few words from him. Then such great compassion towards the
woman: “Hath no man condemned thee? Neither do I. Go thy way and sin no more”. Yes, so I
was already in love with Jesus. He was cool. Wise and smart. The kind of man I could look up to
and live happily ever after with!
So this Saviour, bloodshed thing rather spoiled things for me. Why don’t ‘they’ just let things
be. After all, does the idea of being a Christian not preclude all these ‘bloody’ imageries and stuff?
Bet some people just liked complicating things. Today, some Bible passages still make me
wonder how I had such difficulty believing for so long. You see, since the day I was delivered of
smoking 7 years back by getting on my knees, all by my little old self, and praying to God
through Jesus for help and receiving an answer, I had read the Bible in excitement from Genesis
to Revelations several times over, yet without really seeing those passages that so clearly explain
how Jesus is the Saviour!!
For me then, it was pretty clear; This was a VERY GOOD man, in fact, the PERFECT man, and
by my estimation, the full and COMPLETE embodiment of all previous prophets in the Bible (I
believed in some odd form of reincarnation then). That was good enough for me, and why don’t
‘they just let things be instead of always talking about ‘sacrifice and blood? Wicked men killed
Him, period. And now He is with God. Case closed!
I was also quite, quite upset with Jesus. I had no doubt whatsoever that He was in Heaven with
God. That is where good men go. I believed that implicitly as it makes simple sense. But why on
earth did this good man have to spoil everything by shouting at the end: ‘My God, my God, why
hast thou forsaken me?!! It would have been great comfort if that part of the Bible had ended
with a voice responding, “I have not forsaken you’. Or they could have done me a great favour
by just leaving that cry out. Didn’t make sense. Why tell me the story of such a great guy and get
me hooked on him, only to leave me frustrated at the end with that cry?
I was quite upset with Him for that for years! Could He have been abandoned by God? And
pray, why? I refused to accept that possibility, yet did not know what to make of that cry.
How grateful I am that today I know the conclusion of the matter to His cry prophesied in Psalm 22.
You see, Psalm 16 verses 9 -10, quoted by apostle Peter in Acts 2: 26-27 after the apostles
were baptized by the Holy spirit says it all: “Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body will live n hope, because you will not abandon me t the grave, nor will you let your
Holy One see decay”.
Yes He was forsaken and made to go to hell because He was carrying MY sin and
YOURS on that cross. And since sin cannot enter Heaven because God is too holy to behold sin,
(HABBAKUK 1: 13) there was no way He could have entered Heaven in that state. So, Yes, He went to hell
for you and me. That was how my sins and yours were nailed to the cross with Him in death
And NO!!! He was NOT abandoned there. And that was how he saved you and me – for without
the shedding of blood there is no remission of sins (HEBREWS 9: 22-28). That is how my sins and yours were cancelled once and for all. That is why you can have salvation today IF you accept the sacrifice
and declare it.
He did come back to life after depositing all our past, present and future sins in hell, and to
convince and reassure us all of the facts that He had overcome death, He showed Himself over 40 days to those He had prepared to share the Good News with you and me. During that
period He declared “All power has been given to me in heaven and on earth…”. And they did
spread the Good News. And that is why you and I and anyone who chooses to accept this
sacrifice can have eternal life today.
Today, I know that that cry that so upset me was in fact the cry that reconciled me to God.
Today, I know He was NOT abandoned but rather He sits at the right hand of God the Father
interceding for me and all those who truly believe. Alleluia!
Well, that was my state then. I had read the Bible through and through over seven
years, and enjoyed it too! But I could never understand the concept of The Blood Sacrifice
although it was staring me in the face … and I was supposed to be so educated and well-read!!!
Too big for my boots I guess. And pride is the greatest sin of all!! And it blocked me from
accepting Jesus as my Lord and Saviour for too many years.
I thank God that despite that He still had time for me. So I prayed, researched and spurned the
Church with its many contradictions (as I saw it then), until one day, only my third
CONSECUTIVE and eager visit to a Bible-believing church I was invited to after not attending
since my Secondary School days (YES!! – for almost thirty years – except for the
occasional wedding or burial etc.).
He had time for me and he has time for you too. If you have not yet availed yourself of this
precious loving gift, I hope after reading this you will consider doing so seriously. He is the same
yesterday today and forever. What He did for me, He can do for you. That is who the author of
this book is all about. Be blessed.
So what made me so eager to attend Church? A colleague had invited me to a Sunday worship
one Sunday and I had agreed to go. The topic of the ‘Sunday School (called Search the
Scriptures in this particular church) was on Sanctification. This meant that a clear distinction was
made on what was sanctification and what was Salvation. It was taught by a young, small, semi-
literate man. For the first 5 minutes, I was correcting his English in my mind and remember quite
clearly thinking: ‘Is this what so and so has brought me to listen to? But I guess they must have
been serious when they were binding demons in that church that day, because soon I was caught
up in the study. So I moved on to thinking: ‘Hey, this young man knows something I don’t. And
suddenly Bible texts I had read for the past 7 years were jumping at me and it was like: “How
come I never saw that?!!” “Hey, that was simple enough so how come I never understood it?!!”
etc.
Then after that, as you can imagine from an ignorant mind, I started thinking of others… I
thought of one or two people who claimed to have been born again, and felt perhaps it was
sanctification they lacked, as somehow, I couldn’t quite see those attributes in them!!
Sanctification struck me as exactly what Jesus was all about. I loved it and affirmed it
desired it and finally wondered if I had it! Finally, I got to thinking about MY spiritual status!!
How well our Lord Jesus Christ knew us when He advised us to first remove the log from our
own eyes before attempting to remove the flint from the other person’s eyes!!!
So then I was in a quandary: Well, I knew I was not born again although I was in love with
Jesus. However, I was quite a moral person (meaning I felt I was better than some others so
couldn’t be so bad), and wondered if perhaps I was sanctified. But the teacher handling the topic
pointed out quite clearly that you could not be sanctified if you were not born again! Well, I left
the church that day wondering about my state. Which was I?
To cut a long story short, I attended the Church the second and third time, arriving early enough
for the Sunday School each time. On my third visit, there was an altar call. And the Holy Spirit (I
know Him well now. Alleluia! I didn’t then) asked me a few questions within the span of how
many seconds which seemed much longer given the length of the conversation!!! Just goes to
explain the Bible passage that with God one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years
like one day).
The pastor had just asked anyone who wanted to receive Christ as SAVIOUR to raise their hands
and my immediate reaction was ‘ Oh, Not that again! Anything else but that. Not
this complicated ‘Saviour’ thing again. Master YES!!!! Lord, vague enough and was I eager to
raise my hands for anything concerning Jesus!! But Saviour?? I really would like to make some
form of commitment but Saviour? Really!
Then the Holy Spirit stepped in – or my spiritual eyes were opened? Here is the conversation I
had at the age of 39, with the Holy Spirit on that September or November Sunday in 1995.
Holy Spirit: So, madam, (something to that effect, with a tone of rebuke), you have read many
books, right?
Me: Yes.
HS: Trying to understand who exactly I am, how to get closer to me, and especially what this
Saviour thing is all about, right?
Me: Yes
HS: And it doesn’t make sense, does it?
Me: No.
HS: Do you know how one page of the many books you have read is produced?
Me: Well, they did teach us it has something to do with the pulp of wood or something but as to
the whole process, No.
HS: No?
Me: Guess not.
HS: But do you realize that there are many people who know how it is produced? People less
educated than you, less well-read, but because they work where it is produced they know.
Me: Mmm (thinking). Guess so. But what’s the point?
HS: So you don’t know something that simple although there are many who know it – and you
dare require understanding before you accept Jesus, as if I am a mere intellectual exercise, eh,
madam?
Me: (Silence or awakening?) Oh,ho!
HS: Well, madam, I am the God Who healed you when you thought you were going to die alone
in bed that night… Whom you called on and Who answered and saved you from death in that car
accident in the 80’s, Who delivered you from the bondage of smoking so many years ago, etc.
etc…. … and JESUS is the only Saviour I have for you. You can take Him or leave Him.
By this time I was in tears thinking Yes, Yes, I know YOU as God, so it was you all the time.
What a waste of precious time… I have been proud, what arrogance… I’m sorry Lord, I loved you
before now and I accept Jesus as my personal Saviour, (sob, sob, sob, tears, tears, etc.)
And as the Pastor was mentioning the sins to be repented of, he seemed to have been talking
about me. Actions and positions I would have justified publicly and powerfully as I walked
proudly into the church that day, were now revealed to me as sin and somehow, I recognized
them suddenly as exactly that – sin!
I raised my hand of course, still weeping (till today, I still wonder how what seemed to me to be
such a long conversation probably lasted a second or two by human timing!!!!) I prayed the
sinner’s prayer of repentance, which I now know God ALWAYS answers. And it was like..
Finally, I am at peace, relieved. No more confusion, no more intellectual struggles to
understand… I put my FAITH in Christ first, and do you know within a few months, I had
obtained the previous INTELLECTUAL and SPIRITUAL understanding of How Jesus is my
Saviour and indeed the Saviour of the whole wide world!