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O FOR FAITH TO TRUST YOU MORE!!

You said faith like a grain of a mustard seed is enough to command a mountain to be uprooted and thrown into the sea! (Gospel of Matthew, chapter 17, verse 20). They say the mustard seed itself is about 1 to 2 millimetres big, and I read somewhere that its grain is about the size of one grain of baking flour. Somewhat like a grain of dust, it is impossible to hold, and almost imperceptible! This is why I tremble when I meditate on you wondered aloud: “But when the Son of Man returns, how many will he find on earth who have faith?” (Luke 18:8). Even more frightening is the fact that I know that time is closer now than ever! And I am a part of it

So I wonder, with so many Christians proclaiming faith in the world today, one of which I know I am, how come we have not turned the world upside down? After all, with only twelve apostles and just a handful thousands of believers in the Early church, the world was turned upside down by Christians… And that, from the mouth unbelievers and opposers complaining about them!!(Acts 17:6).

I personally have had to conclude that it is not in my place to measure how faith like a mustard seed should manifest. I did not arrive at this conclusion lightly. As a child of God (I will make my boast in the Lord), I have had to conk my head so many times… (An aside here to explain what conking one’s head means to any Gen Z who might be reading this). 

When I was young – I’m a senior citizen now – discipline tradition was very much into the practicing the biblical instruction not to ‘spare the rod’ so that the child will not get spoilt (Proverbs 13:24; 23:13 – 14). However, when the rod was not immediately handy, parents, in their wisdom, would make do with the ‘rod’ of their knuckles which they responsibly applied specifically to the erring child’s head whenever such a ‘treatment’ is needed. And both the child and the parent… or any elder for that matter, thrived on it, in different ways of course! See how well I turned out!!! Ha, ha! You can’t see I guess but I can assure you all the ones I received as a child did me no harm. Which is why I wonder at psychologists today who claim that the application of physical correction is some sort of ‘child abuse’! My response to that is “give me the Bible any day!  

Which takes us back to the discussion on why I am still conking myself in relation to my faith in Christ. You see, I love the Lord so much; my hope is in Him and Him alone; And I do have faith – confidence , trust, assurance (call it what you will) in Him. 

Personal experience has taught me that while you may love someone you do not trust (only God does that perfectly), it is impossible to trust someone and not love the person. And that is why the Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 13 ??? that the most excellent things to pursue are Faith, Hope and Love.  See? I do know I have faith. The size of it may be an issue. Sometimes I suspect it just might now be as big as the grain of a mustard seed… even though my prayers do get answered, but only after I have vaccilated from firm faith to shaky faith several times over!

And it is at such instances that I conk my head for ever doubting…. And you know what? That ‘conking’ still sets my head aright, even as I delight in my Beloved Saviour in awe for being so gracious tone with such a shaky faith. Therefore, I repeat: Give me reason for this ‘conking’ remedy any day, and hopefully for the rest of my life!!! 

In case you still don’t get it, let me break it down. I only remember to conk myself these days when the most Merciful, the Most Gracious, the God who is Love, intervenes mightily by answering my prayer on an issue that has bothered me – unnecessarily as I discover after the fact – in His amazing way and at His Perfect time!

These are usually issues that I have wasted a lot of time worrying about even while I am supposed to have ‘cast my cares upon the Lord’. And the answers come in different ways. Sometimes it a counsel in the place of prayer, and I am amazed at why I didn’t think of that before! (I don’t conk my head physically in the place of prayer, mind you). And then I quickly realize it’s definitely not about what I can figure out, but about my Beloved Father in heaven coming up trumps again!!! 

Sometimes it’s in the form of guiding my steps – and I mean that literally – to connect me to a helper. And this can also be electronically –  what can I say? Even senior citizens must move with the times in this generation. Only I can tell you the number of God’s children from far-away places I have met electronically over the years during personal bible studies – Men and women of God, some still on this earth and others already resting in heaven, whose love for Him clearly brim over, and who have been used to draw me closer to Him. They don’t know me but I know them and those that are still on this side of heaven are regular on my prayer list. 

Back to this faith matter. A smile always appears on my face when I read or think of the account in the book of Acts. 12: 1-17. Incarcerated and chained between two guards, the sleeping Peter was woken up by an angel. Even the little detail of his wearing his sandals before following the angel was not forgotten!!!  Can you beat that? No mention was made of him even praying! All the while he thought he was dreaming, probably about his earnest desire to be delivered. I can only imagine this given that the Apostle James had just been killed, to the delight of the opposition, and that he had been chosen to be the next to delight them! Come to think of it, I wonder if we can pray in our dreams, or if our dreams can sometimes be prayers? I must research that… there I go again! A senior citizen thing. Sorry! 

Anyway, it was not until Peter was outside the gate of the prison and the angel left him that he finally realized it was the real deal! And then he heads instinctively for the venue of the ‘prayer warriors’ to let them know the present war was over. 

And guess what? The so-called prayer warriors rebuffed the poor servant girl who, in excited astonishment, rushed back first to announce the identity of the guest instead of opening the door to him! I am sure I am not the only one constantly amused by the reaction of the prayer warriors. But in their defense, they actually had no such title as we give them today. 

In those days, it was just a simple gathering of ordinary men and women who had Christ in common and the requisite faith the size of a grain of a mustard seed. 

Ad isn’t it interesting as well that the lowly servant girl could recognize the great Apostle Peter? Don’t forget that there were no videos, cameras, leaflets with pictures, televisions, YouTube or internet etc. in those days. Guess Peter did not have guards protecting him from the riff raff either. He must have been accessible to all. Isn’t that refreshing! There I go again! Sorry again. But I warn you, this blog might be interlaced with sorry ever so often. And I mean them sincerely for those who are aggrieved by it.

Anyway, her declaration was proved true when they checked. See, they were to some extent also doubting Thomases like me. Yay! I found company! Also like me, their immediate reaction was delight, awe in the God who answers prayers. Yes! Before the self-conking always comes the delight. Which makes the conking well worth it! No way I lose! How blessed I am to have such a God as my Father. 

Which led me to meditating… a prayer of faith is not meant to be a command to God. Nor is an answer guaranteed by whining or screaming (I cringe when I see people praying like this!). Rather, it is that surrendered assurance in knowing that He is the Yea and Amen, the Great Promise Keeper, the OmniScient, OmniPresent, Omniscient God of Love who will always answer the prayers of His children in the best possible way. 

Come to think of it, is that not the only way we can glorify Him? Constantly aware that though we have been grafted in as His heirs through our Lord Jesus Christ, He is still in charge and we are not?  Shall we His children not do well to always remember this? 

Oh, Lord keep me small in my own eyes; Help me to continually reduce as you increase… Oh, for more grace to trust you more!

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